No answer

I was sat there listening to the taxi radio when the operator shouted up a driver and there was no response. She then shouted another driver and again there was no response. This went on for about 4 different drivers then all of a sudden all I heard over the radio from the operator was

"Is anyone rogering me tonight or not" I think I knew what she meant but the way iot came out sounded more like something else if you know what I mean. I just went into fits of laughter

Roger - Over and out

Airport Journeys

Recently I have done a few airport runs picking up foreigners who need to be brought to the home town. Its not a bad run down the motorway and the journey can be completed in 2 hours each way so there's always a time for a good craic with the passengers assuming they speak good English.

This is actually usually the case and you can talk about all sorts of things with them and feel that after a 2 hour journey that you know them. Some just talk about work and some just grunt the odd English word at you.

One guy I picked up this week couldn't stop eyeing up the girls. It was beautiful weather and the girls were out wearing next to nothing and every female we past no matter what age or what they look like, he remarked saying that English girls very beautiful.

Another gentleman I picked up who couldn't speak much English was listening to music on the car radio and he kept joining in with English songs and words but well out of tune. I think he was trying to learn the language

The best of the lot really is what most foreign passengers do when you take them to the car... They try and get in the drivers side as they are not used to the fact that we drive on the left.

Figuring it out

I picked up 6 girls and took them into Barrow. They asked me if I could turn the music up on the radio and so I did. My radio display is part of the cars computer and this is what is normally displayed.


To explain it a bit it shows the time, the temperature and the radio station. (The 218 miles was how much fuel I had left)


Anyway this computerised thing in the car tells you when you have a blown bulb or if your oil or coolant level is low and also tells you if your windscreen washer fluid is low.



I was really surprised to hear the girl sat in the front seat say this and I quote.
"Is there really a radio station called "Washer Fluid Level"?"

I was so surprised by what she said that I told her that there must be if that's what it said and she went on to ask me what frequency it was on. I didnt have the heart to try and attempt to explain to this dimwit that it was warning me that my washer fluid was low.





At the end of the journey I asked for an £18 fare to which she took out her mobile phone and used the calculator on it to divide the £18 into 6 people and then blurts out to everyone that it will be £3.00 each but then asked if one of her friends could check it on their phone just in case her calculator is faulty.

I`ve said it before... Some people are only alive cos its illegal to shoot them

Abbey FM Tonight

The interview I did last night go's out tonight on Abbey FM listen live on the web, or you can listen to the recording via this link. Sorry if I sound a bit croaky but I've got a dose of the nasty virus that's doing the rounds. Check out Bills local radio blog or have a look at his downloads page, all sorts of stuff on there.

Abbey FM Studio

Last night I called into the local radio station Abbey FM studios to record a chat with Bill Clark, who does the evening show. While I was there Bill showed me round and I sat in whilst he edited last nights show, all fascinating stuff. The photo is of Bill in the studio, and he tells me that he will let me know when it's going out and I will post the link to Abbey FM live on the web.

Morecambe BayTragedy

A tragedy seems to be unfolding in Morecambe bay I am listening live to coastguard and air sea rescue. So far one person has been reported missing and six bodies have been recovered from the site where the helicopter has crashed on it's way to a gas rig in Morecambe Bay from Blackpool airport. Our local lifeboat has just reported finding large pieces from the tail section of the helicopter. With lot's of local people working offshore on these gas rigs, including some I know, this is a worrying time for all concerned.

Eve and Sprouts

Will somebody please tell the DJ,s on our local radio station(Abbey FM) that there's no such thing as Christmas Eve Eve. They have driven me mad today, I thought at first that they had all developed a speech impediment, but no apparently this is their idea of a modern term of speech. The shops and supermarkets were crazy today and apart from a few hungover leftovers from black eye Friday that's all I seemed to pick up all day. You wouldn't believe the amount of stuff some people were cramming into the boot of my cab, the boot is huge but still some had to resort to filling the back seats as well. Some passengers told me of gaps starting to appear on shelves and and no doubt this will lead to the usual fighting over the last bag of sprouts. The other trade which I noticed was very busy was the car washes, big queues for all of them. Are they treating the car for Christmas? or could it be the huge amounts of rock salt which Cumbria Council have kindly spread over our roads. What a waste ,what with not a sign of ice or snow round here, are they watching the weather forecast for somewhere else? or are they just on commission from the road grit suppliers. ( the driver of the car pictured, which was parked on a Barrow St this morning must have been following the gritter all night)

Shabby FM

I do wish Barrow's new local radio station Abbey FM would get their act together and get some proper local news and not repeat the same stuff time after time. All day today we have had to put up with the breathlessly exited female newsreader telling us that someone has had a jacket nicked from a car on Barrow's Church St. She goes on excitedly imploring us for information and witness's to this dastardly crime. I know some people say that Barrow is a bit of a backwater with a low crime rate but surely we have more going on than this. Or maybe it was one of Abbey FMs staff who had the jacket nicked. Next thing we will be getting told when the traffic newsreader's mother is crossing Abbey Rd so we can all slow down.

B.B.C. Interview

I did an interview for B.B.C. local radio Radio Cumbria which went on air 10 th April. Part of it is here if you want a listen , you never know you may have been mentioned. recording courtesy of Bill Clark
Just click here !!!