Friday, May 29

Meth Lifestyle

I had two meth runs in a row one day recently, for those that don’t know meth is short for methadone which is a liquid heroin substitute doled out by the pharmacist and has to be drank whilst in the chemist’s shop.  This is a daily thing for these people and part of their normal routine, but don't go thinking that it’s all shady young chavs in hoodies, it’s both males and females and with a wide range of ages from twenties up to fifties.   
  Some say that these people have a drug problem but no to a lot of them it isn’t a problem at all.  With most of the long term users it’s simply a way of life and they know nothing else. Think of it this way, what wouldn’t you give to be free of all responsibility and to just treat life as one big game. Usually no fixed address so no bills to pay and no kids to look after, just like most of the users they are brought up by relatives or end up in a care home. Cash isn’t a problem easily earned by small time dealing, supplying other users. 
They tend to give the wrong destination when ordering the cab and it then turns into a run-around and a drop off on a vague street corner after going from one side of town to the other and back. Now sometimes if I stay real quiet with more than one fare in the taxi folk seem to forget I am there and talk about all sorts of strange stuff, today was just one of those occasions. This kind of opened a window onto the wild crazy lifestyles that some of these users take for granted. And it does sometimes seem that they can experience crazier stuff in a week than most of us see in a whole lifetime.  Three people in the taxi and they were all pretty silent until the meth had been taken and then they started to relax and talk between themselves.
One story was the tale of a fellow user who had not been able to go to his brothers’ funeral that week from his prison cell. “Naw the screws wunt let him go cos he’s an high escape risk he got out of the cop van in Lancaster and was on the run for a week, then when they got him he squeezed out of the skylight of the sweatbox (prison van).”  The lass then responded with “they double cuffed me when I went to me nanas, why didn’t they do that and put him on a lead” (a long chain from the cuffs to the prison officers) just then the actual guy they were talking about rang them using a smuggled mobile phone direct from his prison cell. They seemed to treat this as nothing out of the ordinary apparently mobiles are quite easy to get hold of in jail. 
They spent the rest of the cab ride laughing and telling each other stories about how they got caught for dealing and what cars the police were “sneaking around in”.  They didn’t think it fair that the police were now using cars with blacked out windows to watch them from and even using rough old cars to follow them with.  
Wow how some folk live eh!

Tuesday, May 26

Foul Mouths

I picked up three huge Australian rugby players today and I fully expected a bit of cursing from them. But not a bit of it, not a word was said that couldn't be repeated at the vicar’s tea party. Not that I have ever been invited to the vicars tea party that is. The trio of polite good mannered blokes were a pleasure to drive for,
This was in sharp contrast to the next bunch who happened to be pupils from a local school they seemed and looked okay, that is until they opened their mouths.
 Now I've been around a fair bit, but I have never heard swearing and profanity the like of which was casually uttered by these girls of thirteen or fourteen. If only the mothers of the foul females could have overheard them!

Monday, May 18


I have noticed some of our local taxi drivers wearing Bluetooth headsets lately what’s that all about I wonder. I mean guys its not as if you are going to be getting loads of important big time business calls, maybe the wife telling you your teas ready or to get a pint of milk on the way home but that’s about it.
 So why put yourself through that discomfort and wear them all the time? Some drivers actually walk into the office wearing them much to everyone’s amusement.
 Maybe they watch too many science fiction movies and like to pretend to be astronauts or cybermen. Well this is earth calling guys and telling you that you look right lemons. 
What topped it for me was when I saw a guy driving his cab across Walney bridge with a large Bluetooth in one ear and actually holding a mobile phone to the other ear.

Tuesday, May 12


 You know a good tip is if that you want the low down on somewhere you are planning on dining at is to ask your cabbie.
 We are always given the verdict about the service and how good the meal was from lots of different folk. You know if restaurant owners wanted more trade they could do it easily by free or very cheap meals for taxi drivers. But then again listening to the squeals of protest from the front springs and looking at the over inflated spare tyres on the taxi ranks that may not be a good idea eh!
     One of my fares today was picking up a lady with her mother and grandmother after their meal at a local fancy eatery.
 Mother and daughter praised the meal to high heavens while granny just kept quiet. As luck would have it granny was the last to be dropped off, and so I got my chance to ask her what she really thought of the meal. “Fancy rubbish” she loudly announced why what was the problem I asked.
 “Well she said they gave me a side salad and the barmy beggars tried to put olive oil and vinegar on it”. What’s wrong with that I asked? She replied “Vinegar is for on me fish and chips and the only use for olive oil is to heat it up and put in your ears to melt the wax”. 
Don’t try this at home folks!.

Wednesday, May 6

Pole Dancer

I was talking away this morning with a lady who I had picked up in nearby Dalton when a Stones track comes on the radio. Oh she said “I won a pole dancing contest in Blackpool dancing to this”. Honest I asked “yes” she replied “and I have the certificate at home to prove it”.
 Just think I said in a few years time when your grandchildren are going through their old granny’s paperwork what will they think when they come across that.
” Never thought of that” she said,” but at least they won't read what it says on the tattoo I got that same weekend.”” And no I’m not going to tell you what it says, and the place where it is you certainly aren't going to get to read it.”