Wet Nightmare

A while back now I got a job not too far away from where I was parked, I didn't recognise the name which come up on my screen but thought nothing of it. The job was to pick-up outside a small supermarket but as soon as I got near I recognised the fare.
 I was out of there like a shot I had picked her up a few weeks previously and she not to put too fine a point on it stank. 
The smell was definitely urine and as she got out I noticed that she had green crystals on her trousers were it had dried out. This led to losing an hour or so to clean the car and so it was a quick u-turn and away, but sure enough as I turned in front of her I could plainly see that she had recently wet herself, it was lucky I remembered her.
Lot’s of people say aren't you frightened of people being sick in the back of the car. I don't work nights so it doesn't affect me but the guys who do tell me that you can tell when people are going to vomit and so stop and get them out. But it’s the young ladies who are desperate for a pee who are the biggest problem apparently they do it on the back seat now and again and you don’t know about it until the next fare gets a cold (or if its recent warm ) wet backside.

In The Air Tonight

As in the Phil Collins song "Can you feel it coming in the air tonight".

There I was with 4 passengers on board driving into town when one of them farted and it really stunk so down come the windows and no one would admit to it so at the end of the journey the fare was £3.80p on the meter and so I asked for £4.80p.

Obviously they asked me why I wanted £4.80p to which I replied that the extra pound is for an air freshener.

I expected them to not pay it and personally I wants bothered if they didn't as I was just having a laugh with them but they took me seriously and paid me the extra pound and apologised.

This got me thinking,. Maybe if I could fine everyone who didnt behave in the cab then I could be rich within a week.