Little Freinds

A mother and her daughter who would have been about seven or eight got in the taxi today at one of our local supermarkets. As it was mid afternoon and after the standard "been busy, and the weather's crap" conversation I said "no school today then" nodding towards the lass in the back who was sat there looking bored and scratching her head.
 "No, she came home with some little friends yesterday," the mother said scratching and shaking her very long head of hair. I didn't know what she meant by this, but she must have noticed my blank baffled expression and so she went on to say "aye it only takes one kid whose parent doesn't treat them and the full class has them" Again I looked at her blankly for a few seconds and then noticed that both mother and daughter were scratching their heads in unison. Then the mite-sized truth dawned on me and the irresistible urge to scratch my own head started to torture me. Being the polite type, I resisted the urge to scrat for the long long two miles till I got them home and out of the taxi. I spent the rest of the afternoon itching my head after that, just like you are trying to stop yourself doing now!

Mobile Makeup

You know it always amuses me the way that some people really make themselves comfortable when they get into the taxi. Even though they may be in the cab for only a short time I see people adjusting the seats and wriggling about like a tired dog about to get settled. Women seem to be the worst some really make themselves at home, they start putting makeup on and brushing their hair using the vanity mirror and on one occasion a woman even took out a can of highly scented deodorant lifted up her jumper and sprayed her hairy armpits. I have been asked to slow down and avoid bumps whilst they carefully apply their lipstick and eye makeup.  But you know how it is, sometimes the temptation is just too great and I have to brake and swerve to avoid the odd imaginary cat or two on the road. 
You would think that with all this pampering and preparation that they would want to show off their good looks, but I have found that a lot will ask to be dropped round the corner from a pub or restaurant so they can slip in unnoticed.

The Burnt Charcoal Suit

One of my lovely passengers, who's a hairdresser was telling me a couple of stories the other day which she assures me are both true. 
The first was told to her by someone who works at the local crematorium. They had a visit from a lady who had recently been widowed and whose late husband's funeral and cremation having taken place only two days previously.” I've come for the suit “she said the staff were mystified by this request and so sat her down and asked what she meant. It turned out that she thought that the customers at the crematorium were undressed prior to being cremated.
 Upon being told that this wasn't so she said “I would have dressed him in one of his old suits if I had known that”.
The second was that a young lady kept coming back to the shop to complain about her perm. It keeps falling out she said, and so the shop redid her hair, this happened three or four times and the shop staff were baffled. On her last visit they sat her down and asked her a few questions about just what she was doing with her hair.
 They found that she actually thought that a perm meant just what it said, and so when she washed her hair she just towelled it and expected it to dry exactly how it was when she left the hairdressers.

Body Bits

It was one of my rare days off today, so as usual it was clean up time with the taxi. Vacuuming the inside I always find the same stuff, hair clips, the odd coin, and lots of glitter from the girl’s makeup.
 But it's the bits of people's bodies left behind that never fail to amaze me, always lots and lots of hair of every colour and not just head hair believe it or not.  Yes the I vacuum up the occasional hair which definitely looks like the pubic variety, how it gets there I just cannot figure.
 Fingernails I can understand there's a heck of a lot of nervous people out there.
 But I never see passengers bite their toenails yet I also find them on the floor.

Found Property

First fare of the day and I picked up a young girl and took her to an address on Walney Island. She duly paid the fare and got out of the cab and I drove off.

Shortly after, the office called me on the radio and asked if I had found anything on the back seat as the girl I had dropped off had lost something. I wasnt aware of what it was that she lost til I turned round and had a look. Maybe its just me but at a very quick glance it looked like a long haired rat and so I dived out of the car and was about to shut the door when the office radio'd to me saying it was a hair extension.

I suppose I should have looked more carefully rather than just glance but its made me more wary of what goods people carry in the cab.

Go on, laugh at my expense. looking at it, it looks nothing like a rat but at the time I thought it was something sinister and you never know if there`s teeth hiding under any hairy thing that could jump up and bite....... :)

Hair raising

Quite often when the computers in our cabs give us a job to do we will find that the persons name is spelt wrong usually due to the operator mis-hearing the customer or a case of bad spelling and so this week I got a job at a local hostelry to pick up someone by the name of "No hair".

I pulled up outside the pub and waited a moment when a guy asked me if the name was O'Hare. I quickly figured out that this was the correct fare and as he got in the car I couldn't help but notice he was totally bald. I rather quickly moved my data screen out of his view in case he thought someone was taking the mick out of him.

I`ve had some strange names come up on that screen in the past and some strange spellings. One that could have been embarrassing was the name MUFF. Turns out it should have been Murph.

Anyone else had any strange names????