Friday, December 14

Grim Reaper

My passenger was in a seasonally festive mood, and why not he was on his way to the firm’s annual Christmas knees-up in Dalton. But first we had to go and pick up another three guys also going to the bash, all from different addresses in Barrow. The next guy climbed in stinking of the cheapest aftershave money can buy, but also in a jovial mood. The third man had on the brightest pink shirt I had ever seen which clashed blindingly with his electric blue necktie. You just knew that these guys were out for a good laugh and nothing was going to stop them. Loud laughter and daft jokes drowned out any serious conversation, until one of them told me where the last pickup was to be from. The atmosphere took a turn for the worse and the jokes and laughter became half hearted and feeble. I couldn't figure out what the problem was, had the cheap aftershave fumes got to them or was the shirt and tie combo leaving them speechless?

I knew the answer as soon as the fourth and final passenger opened his front door. Dressed from head to foot in sombre black he looked like a funeral director who hadn't been paid for his services. The mood got noticeably heavier when he got into the cab and nobody tried to make conversation. After a few minutes our black clad man said to his pink shirted workmate,” I see your uncle died last week then eh! What did he die from then?" " A heart attack” he replied sadly bowing his head. Their was a minutes silence before the black suited ghoul said "aye well your a bit overweight yourself you'll probably go the same way in the next five years." As I then drove on towards Dalton I listened to him question the others about what ages their parents died at, and from what causes. He then mirthlessly listed each of their unhealthy habits and vices and predicted at what age they would die. All were predicted a short lifespan and I found myself shrinking into the seat trying to escape from his funereal attention. The cheap aftershave now seemed to smell like the scent of Lilly’s on an oak coffin and the pink shirt somehow took on the look of a silk shroud. When we thankfully arrived at the pub in Dalton the grim reaper got out first and I asked the others why on earth they had invited him along. "Because he's the boss" they replied, myself I think I would be looking for another job eh!


bigbikerbob said...

Hi Bob, A real bundle of joy by the sound of it, just the sort you want to be with stuck in traffic !!!,mind you it could be worse he could be YOUR boss.

Bob said...

bob: no he wouldn't last two minutes with me. Strange thing is that I have never had a boss as such Ive always been self employed one way or another.