Lemon & Puppys

I knew it was going to be one of those days as soon as I picked up my first fare. Obviously still suffering from the effects of the previous nights chemical and alcohol cocktail she began to rummage in her pockets. Expecting the usual handful of leftover shrapnel as payment I held out my hand. "Here you are"she said and placed a well past it's sell by date lemon in my hand. "Err no thanks" I said "it's OK have it later" she replied. It took ten more minutes of patient explanation of why we preferred cash to fruit and veg before she finally coppered up.
Then the day ended with me falling for a classic sucker manoeuvre. My fare a young lass had a load of stuff to go in the boot, tins of paint and lots of bags. When the boot was stuffed full she said "right I'll just go and get my puppy you don't mind do you?" I of course thinking of a cute little ball of fluff said "yes OK no problem." It was of course a big problem and too late when I saw her dragging the uncontrollable 13st (180lb) Rottweiler onto my nice clean back seats. Vainly trying to stop it slavering over the upholstery she grinned and said "big for a puppy innit," Grr that was my day over with, I had to then go and clean the car out.
Still even this pales into insignificance when compared with the tale of bare faced cheek inflicted on another local cabbie. He had picked up a couple with an ancient long hared Alsatian which insisted on spreading hair and slaver all over the cab and driver. When he got to the destination only one passenger got out with the dog. The other then asked to be taken back to where they had come from, to collect his car. The driver was puzzled by this and asked why they hadn't taken the dog in their own car. "Oh no! We couldn't risk that, the dogs incontinent” was the matter of fact reply. Angrily the driver told them about the £75 soiling charge they had risked. "But that’s for people not animals" was the indignant reply.