Sweet Revenge

This weekend I had a bit of a swap round with the hours that I usually work. This had me working on the busy Friday and Saturday evenings. It was strange to see some of the folk going out that I usually pick up the morning after their night on the ale. I could hardly recognise some of them without the red bleary eyes, toxic breath, and that just dragged through a hedge backwards look. One lass who was dressed up to the nines, and plastered with make-up, revelled in the admiring glances from the lads stood ogling her outside the pub where I dropped her off. If only like me, they had seen her in the mornings after a heavy night out, she wouldn't get a date off a calendar.

 But the best one of the weekend for me, were the two lads who I picked up from Hawcoat going to a town centre pub. One was a loud mouthed obnoxious drunk, and the other just couldn’t get a word in edgeways. As soon as they got in the cab Mr Loudmouth said “I’ll pay the taxi driver and sort him out if he tries to rob us.” He then yelled constantly to his embarrassed mate that I was deliberately stopping at red lights and slowing for pedestrians, just to rob him by making the fare higher . He went on to loudly inform his pal that “all taxi drivers are thieves and robbers...” Feeling sorry for his pal who was obviously squirming with embarrassment, somehow I resisted my urge to throw them out. When we reached the pub Mr Loudmouth was still muttering about highway robbery and thieves as he patted his pockets and fumbled for his cash. After a few minutes of agonised silence he squeaked “Oh no I’ve forgotten my wallet.”

Time for sweet revenge I thought and turned round with a stern glare and said loudly “oh yes, trying to rob me are you eh?” He blustered and stammered as I threatened him with the law and a night in the cells instead of the pub. 

I could see his pal enjoying every minute of this and trying hard to hide his smirk. After a few more minutes of savouring this well deserved humiliation his pal paid the fare and with a huge smile added a big tip.