Turkey n Tinsel

Early Sunday morning and I just couldn't believe the amount of keen workers streaming over the bridge to our local BAE shipyard. What was going on? I have never seen it so busy at the weekend. All was explained when I picked a fare up on his way to work there. He told me that this weekend was the last one for the workers substantial overtime payments to go into the pre Christmas pay packet. Funny when you think that the shipyard was struggling to get folks to work overtime all year, but here they all are, practically running to get to work.
Speaking of the dreaded Christmas, we all like to moan about it, but spare a thought for the poor fare who was telling me his tale of woe. The poor blighter is a hotel worker at the less than sedate seaside resort of Grange Over Sands (known locally as god's waiting room). November is the start of the "Turkey and Tinsel" season. Twice a week coach loads of overfestive pensioners descend on his hotel expecting the full Xmas and New Year knees up. The poor wretch is made to dress up as Santa and tells me "you wouldn't believe how frisky some of the old lasses are after a few hours at the free bar. "Gripping my arm he croaked "you don't know what fear is, until you have thirty overexcited lady octogenarians fighting to get into Santa's sack."
Needless to say turkey, crackers, tinsel or anything to do with Christmas are banned in his house.