Tuesday, September 23

Why Me?



I’m beginning to wonder if it's just me, or is it some sort of conspiracy that I end up with the strangest jobs. Today for example I was asked to do a cigarette run, which in itself isn't all that unusual, quite a few housebound nicotine addicts ask us to buy fags for them and then deliver them. 
But when I arrived at the house which had asked for ten coffin nails today I was greeted by a woman waving a bunch of keys out of the open window. I was thrown the keys and asked to let myself in, which I did. The ould lass grabbed her precious cancer causers and started to rip into the packaging seeming to forget that I was there. It was only after she had lit one and greedily puffed one or two deep drags of nicotine that she remembered why I was there. Whilst blowing clouds of noxious smoke toward me she announced "I ain't got any money you'll have to come back in the morning." "Great I thought robbed again” as you might guess I don't smoke, so nine fags weren't a lot of use to me, so I put it down to yet another bad experience and left. Nobody was more surprised than me when she rang the office next day and asked me to go over to be paid for the fags and fare. But when I got there and again was passed the keys out the window, as I suspected, there was a catch. She handed me a £20 note and asked me to visit the local grog shop and get her some booze. I felt like some kind of secret alcoholic as I walked out of the shop at 11 am with three cans of the strongest cheapest lager known to man.
 But the surprises didn't end there; when I handed over the loony-juice to the cantankerous granny she actually paid me in full and added a generous tip.

10 comments:

Peggy said...

I would have been SO annoyed on your behalf if you didn't get paid for buying the cigarettes. I used to do little runs for my neighbours and pick up cigarettes for them. I suppose if you don't have lovely neighbours, the local lovely cabbie will do just as well. :-)

Bob said...

peggy:Aye it's always nice to be nice.

Keith said...

Bob, you don't half pint a picture of life in Barrow... Scary !

Bob said...

keith: Maybe it's not Barrow, maybe it's just me that attracts all the strange jobs.

NYC taxi photo said...

"looney juice" and "coffin nails" ah frick, I've been trying to write a post forever, and I still can't make it half as interesting. great stuff.

bigbikerbob said...

Hi Bob, That was just a normal part of every Sunday morning around here when I was Taxi'ing, pick up the sunday papers and twenty fags deliver for Breakfast in bed.

Bob said...

nyc:Hi thanks for that and many thanks for your kindly mention on your hunkydory blog.

Bob said...

Bob: Aye just another day on the crazy carousel of cab life eh!

King of New York Hacks said...

Stock up on the fags and looney juice in the trunk...and you will be in "high" demand from more that just cantankerous grannies !!

Bob said...

king: Aye that may be an idea,I do believe that some local drivers do stock cheap imported fags. But it would make you a target for villains eh!