I thought it strange when the auld lass getting in the cab placed a newspaper on the front seat before sitting down. As we drove away she merrily informed me "I've got that bug that’s going around and I've made a mess in me pants." By then it was too late to do anything about it, and I drove her home quickly whilst trying hard not to breathe. When we got there she climbed out and I breathed a sigh of relief when I saw that the seat was unmarked. She leaned in and paid the fare and then held the suspiciously soggy newspaper out and said "you can have this paper to read if you want it." After I had recovered from my choking fit I replied "no thanks I never read the Sun"