Sunday, January 27

Competition for the Mail

Locals in the Furness area may like to take a look at a spoof send up of our very own local paper. Whilst our our esteemed local news sheet has the grand sounding title the “North West Evening Mail” locals know it simply as the “Evening Mail.” The impostor bills itself online as the “Barrow Evening Mail” But with stories such as this by Fridge Barrow Town Hall to Move

"Yes, it is true(ish) that Barrow Town Hall is relocating. In a bid to save money, our glorious leaders have voted to sell the present Town Hall and buy a row of houses. The vote was taken in controversy as the proposee put the opposition on the back foot by bringing in his miniature poodle that had just had its coat trimmed into the style of a young Hayley Mills. While the poodle was overly ‘aahhhh’ed at and vigorously patted, the Chairman called the show of hands. The opposition did put in a formal complaint, but the Chairman dismissed it on the fact that they all acted like ‘a pack of Southern softies’.

"The decision on where to buy the houses has not yet been taken, however they are proposing to sell the Town Hall to a developer. We phoned around to a few known interested parties and asked their plans if they were the successful bidder. We had a range of replies from turning it into a large Haunted House attraction to knocking it down and building a 400ft Elvis sitting on the toilet."

"The Chairman stated, 'What ever happens with the Town Hall, we have the right to veto any building so you can be sure it will be tasteful, modern and probably pink.' He went onto say ‘we like pink, it compliments our eyes.'"

Mmm I'm sure the new editor will be very impressed and seek out these young pretenders and either sue them or employ them eh!


Deryk said...

I bet the other Evening Mail would say "they seem to have enhanced the cosmopolitan feel of their site"...

Bob said...

deryk: You can bet that the mail will have something to say about it.