Wednesday, February 23

Pre-booked cab

Some people will always book their taxi well in advance and will ask for a taxi at 9am or 10.30pm or five to eleven etc etc but there's always one that has to be a bit eccentric I suppose..

I didn't think anything of it at first until I noticed on the PDA screen (image to the left) that the job was pre-booked for 9.02pm and even so I thought that the customer had rang it asking for it in 20 mins and the telephonist at our end had booked it in as 20 minutes from the current time for example but curiosity got the better of me and so I questioned the young man and asked "What time did you book your cab for" expecting him to say 9pm. He actually said 2 minutes past nine and went on to explain that he was meeting a girl in the pub and had told her that if she wasn't there by 9pm that he would be going without her and he had rang the taxi at 8pm ish anticipating that she wasn't going to turn up and allowed 2 minutes at 9pm and then got in the taxi and went on his way.

Sunday, February 20

Things people say in an argumant

It was around 11pm last night that I picked up a young man and woman who were constantly arguing with each other from the moment they got in the car. The argument stopped briefly to allow one of them to tell me where they wanted to go to and then it started again as quickly as it stopped.

I didnt want to get involved and just kept driving and saying nothing as on a lot of occasions they do try and involve the driver with questions such as "What do you think then? I am right or is she right?" I don't get involved in other peoples arguments as I just want to get my job done. Get them to their destination, get the fare from them, and move on to my next job.

However, I couldnt help but laugh when the girl says to Boy "You think you are gods gift to women, well sorry to burst your bubble but gods gift to women runs on batteries! :) " --- Made me laugh anyway

Saturday, February 12

Window Cleaner

I have gotten used to some of my fares taking their own sweet time coming out of their houses and getting into the Taxi that they have ordered. Usually it’s a case of not being quite ready because the cab arrived quicker than they thought. Sometimes they struggle to find keys, mobile phone, tickets etc, this is par for the course and doesn’t bother me unduly.
But today when I arrived outside the fares house bang on time was a first for me and left me slightly bewildered. My fare, a well dressed fairly normal looking woman looked out of her front door and raised one finger towards me which is the usual signal to say that she would be out in a minute or so. Imagine my surprise when she reappeared with a window cleaning squeegee and promptly started to clean her front bay window.
She rushed at it as a woman possessed and the squeegee was a blur as she washed and dried off her window in record time.
She then threw the window cleaning gear back into her house, came out, and got in the taxi.
She could see my perplexed expression and so had to give me some kind of explanation.  She said “that mucky window has been driving me mad all morning and I just couldn’t leave the house with it like that, it would have driven me mad thinking about it.”
Some folk really are a bit strange eh!

Wednesday, February 9

Busy Docks

The local Docks in Barrow in Furness seem to be booming at the moment. Everywhere you look on every spare inch of water a ship or boat is moored.
 This comes about because of the boom in the offshore wind turbine industry.
 We have several big projects going on at the moment in the Irish Sea off Walney. Unfortunately, most of the materials and labor are supplied by the Dutch and Danish, I would have liked to have seen more UK involvement but as most of the investment is by Danish companies, we will have to accept it as sort of second invasion of the Vikings. Still I have had quite a few of the workers and crew as passengers and they seem like a nice bunch of characters.

Wondering about amongst all these ships and boats looking for my fare I was amazed to spot an ex RAF jetfighter hidden away in a corner, How did that get there?

Sunday, February 6

Pen and Paper

On a wet and windy Saturday, afternoon and my fare who was a woman of a mature vintage shivered and dripped copious amounts of cold Barrow rainwater as she climbed into my cab. After the usual weather related chit chat, she declared that she had only ventured out into town in this heavy storm to buy some paper and refills for her fountain pen. Refills for a pen I exclaimed why not just buy another pen surely; they only cost a few pence. She looked horrified at the very idea and asked just when the last time that I had received a handwritten letter was. I thought about it for a minute or two and had to admit I couldn’t remember receiving one for many a year.
Come to think of it, the only items that seem to come by post nowadays are bills, computer written official letters or printed junk mail adverts. When I told her this she gave a knowing smile and asked what I do with this correspondence,” it goes straight into the shredder” I replied.  Well she says, “I have been writing to as many as thirty different folk all over the world some as far away as Australia for the last fifty years and all of them tell me that they still have every one of my letters”.   She must have seen the puzzled look on my face and as if for explanation dug into, her leather bag and pulled out a sheath of handwritten letters. Take a look at some of these she urged, and so when we pulled up outside her house I took the time to check out one or two.
The envelopes and paper used were all of the very best quality and the handwriting was absolutely superb, even though the heavy paper was unlined, every line was equally spaced and looked like a piece of artwork. Not a spelling mistake or grammar error could be seen. Wow, it was a pleasure to even look and read one of the multipage masterpieces, never mind to actually have one sent to you through the post.
I really was impressed and if a Parker fountain pen came along with a spellchecker, I may have even thought about investing in one. No, wonder her readers treasured her letters and I hope that she keeps the art of letter writing alive for many years to come.      

Friday, February 4

Concept Taxis

Take a look at this slide show of Concept New York Taxis
The Maxi addresses the very real threat of violence facing cab drivers. Says Johnson, “For the sake of exaggeration, the taxi looks impenetrable and fearsome, like a Brink’s truck.

Thursday, February 3

Tuesday, February 1

Hello Sailor

 Spotted this one and could not resist reposting it! But really do think that there may be some truth in amongst it.
Details have been released regarding Britain's introduction of the next generation of fighting ships: The Royal Navy is proud of the cutting edge capability of the new fleet of Type 45 destroyers.
Having initially named the first two ships of this class HMS Daring and HMS Dauntless, the HM Ships naming committee have, after intensive counselling, renamed them HMS Cautious and HMS Prudence.
The final four ships are to be named HMS Empathy, HMS Nervous, HMS Timorous and HMS Apologist.
Costing £750 million, they have been designed to meet the needs of the 21st century; in addition to state of the art technology, weaponry, and guidance systems, the ships will comply with the very latest employment, equality, health & safety and human rights legislation.
They will be able to remain at sea for several months and positively bristle with facilities.
For instance, the new user-friendly crow's nest comes equipped with wheelchair access.
Live ammunition has been replaced with paintballs to reduce the risk of anyone getting hurt and to cut down on the number of compensation claims.
Stress counselors and lawyers will be on duty 24hrs a day, and each ship will have its own onboard industrial tribunal.
The crew will be 50/50 men and women, and balanced in accordance with the latest Home Office directives on race, gender, sexuality and disability.
Sailors will only have to work a maximum of 37hrs per week in line with Brussels Health & Safety rules even in wartime!
All bunks will be double occupancy, and the destroyers will all come equipped with a maternity ward and crèche, situated on the same deck as the Gay Disco.
Tobacco will be banned throughout the ship, but cannabis will be allowed in the wardroom and messes.
The Royal Navy is eager to shed its traditional reputation for "Rum, Sodomy and the lash"; out goes the occasional rum ration which is to be replaced by Perrier water, although sodomy remains: this has now been extended to include all ratings under 18.
The lash will still be available but only by request.
Condoms can be obtained from the Bosun in a variety of flavours, except Capstan Full Strength.
Saluting officers has been abolished because it is elitist, and is to be replaced by the more informal "Hello Sailor".
All notices on boards will be printed in 37 different languages and Braille.
Crew members will no longer be required to ask permission to grow beards or moustaches - this applies equally to the women.
The MOD is working on a new "Non specific" flag based on the controversial British Airways "Ethnic" tailfin design, because the white ensign is considered to be offensive to minorities.
The newly-renamed HMS Cautious is due to be re-commissioned soon in a ceremony conducted by Captain Hook from the Finsbury Park Mosque who will break a petrol bomb over the hull.
She will gently slide into the water to the tune of "In the Navy" by the Village People played by the Royal Marines.
Sea Trials are expected to take place, when she sets out on her maiden mission. She will be escorting boat loads of illegal immigrants across the channel to ports on the south coast.
The Prime Minister said that "While the ships reflected the very latest of modern thinking they were also capable of being up-graded to comply with any new legislation.
His final words were "Britain never, never waives the rules!"